Day Seminar Liveblogging

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4.25.08

Wife’s birthday today.
Happy birthday, sweetie!

7:35am
At the Oregon Convention center for a training seminar. Really early as I had anticipated heavy Southbound traffic, which was not there.

8:15am
Breakfast at Denny’s, which has no WIFI. But they have grits on the menu, as an alternative side to the usual hashbrowns or oatmeal. The waitress didn’t ask me if I wanted any and I forgot to ask her.

8:50am
Arrived at the center and parked inside. How much will it be? My work will pay for it, hopefully. Also, no WIFI for attendees who don’t want to spend $9.95. This is a stupid move and bad sportsmanship. But I guess they have nothing to lose and the hapless salarymen and salarywomen that end up trapped here for hours will probably cough it up.

THis is a training seminar offered by Kelby Training and Adobe. Excellent classes despite the cattle call size. Sit up front and center or you will be lost. At last class, my friend George and I estimated over 700 attendees. This one may be smaller, due the relative obscurity of the offering. We’ll see, but I am also early enough to choose a prime seat.

I despise training seminars, for the most part. Some are an incredible waste of time and money. Some corporate, day-training seminars are an excuse for a gaggle of cube-mates to step out, dress up and talk shop. And talk they do. Through the entire class. One tablefull that I had the misfortune of sitting at had an entire group of clerical-type persons from a school, which - one would assume - they were all going to learn basic page layout for the school newsletter. But I doubt they learned much. They gossiped all session about so-and-so and you-know-who. I wondered if this was the same person. The instructor was visibly annoyed and - perhaps responding to the cue that one person at the table was physically separating himself from the group in order to hear her - had moved over to our table and gave her presentation from our immediate proximity, and would turn and present directly to us when another arising of nitter-nuttering erupted from the gaggle of office pals.
A real pro and I got a lot from the class, both in the concept advertised and in giving presentations to a potentially inattentive group. These aren’t quite like that, unless you choose to sit by a large group, this shouldn’t occur. We’ll see.

Wife and I talking about replacing our departed #1 cat. I think it must be a young female, or he will beat up on the two older females. I miss Scout. We had a rocky relationship. He was the man in the house before I showed up. He was a cranky shit most of the time. After he lost his leg (and got an excellent new stainless steel leg bone after no small amount of cash), he mellowed considerably. The last three years we had nearly counted him out more than once after he would catch some illness that seemed to nearly do him in before he bounced back unexpectedly. But he took yet another turn and then departed into the woods and it’s been over a week.

9:25am
Class about ready to start. They’re not letting us in until the last minute, which means there’ll be a rock concert-style dash for the good seats.
Lots of vendors selling snakeoil in the lobby. Lots of demos and interested parties. The Wacom Cintique is here again and I want one, even though they are more than a super computer. You can tell the graphics-type people from the non-graphics type people. Many are overweight and have a bluetooth attachment on their heads. Like their ear is being screwed by a cybernetic cockroach. Ponytails abound. The clerical, non graphic types look uptight and anxious.
Must charge my laptop battery at every chance. Found a comfy chair near an outlet and they at least don’t charge for that.
Movement. Must be showtime.

9:40am
Inside. All good seats taken on the inside isle. One was open, but would’ve meant sitting behind an enormous in height and girth-type man. They are playing Starship’s We Built This City over the PA, un-ironically. Horrible. Coffee weak and there are three sugar-substitutes and no sugar.
Hell will be like this.

9:51am
Our presenter is late. Hopefully this doesn’t mean that the class will go on later than five. I wonder what life is like for these touring presenters? Is it like a rockstar’s? Do they have interesting gripes about their tour rider? What does their tour rider look like? Do corporate seminar instructors have groupies?

I am on an outside aisle, towards front. No one wants to sit here, yet, so can claim a chair for my coat and shoulder bag. I need some kind of toting device. Something modular that I can take to the station with me and be light and mobile when I need to be.

Thinking about the trip. Need luggage. I have never needed or owned luggage before.
Need a new battery for my laptop.
Need a big rolling suitcase.
Need a ….
Trying to filter out a cellphone user over my left shoulder. It was inevitable. In fact, it rarely occurs much in these settings anymore. Just realised that I am very far from the presenter, yet right in front of one of the vast monitors that are on either side of him.
People right in front of me now. All three coworkers or otherwise acquainted. Great.
Strong perfume and BO.
Must really be showtime.

11:13am
First break. Class interesting and instructor engaging. Learned a few things even though I’m a long-time user. Hopefully I will remember and apply them and make them habits.

12:18pm
Lunch a bust
No grill or restaurant in the center, which is silly.
Even the japanese store across the street didn’t have the hot bento boxes they usually do.
All restaurants were too far to walk in a short amount of time. Ate a convenience store-type sandwich, which worked. Drank a weird Singapore-export beverage: Carrot/Orange juice. It tasted exactly like carrot orange juice with lots of sugar.
Plugin people did plugin demos during our lunch break to a quarter-filled room.
A late arrival to my row has made me sit with my knee to a table leg, whereas before I had room to move my legs about and even use the adjoining chairs to rest my feet on. Damn.
Tired. Don’t want to overdo the coffee thing, but need it. Sometime during the day we all ran out of lids, making table coffee drinking somewhat hazardous, with laptops, books, neighbors, etc…

2:00pm
Second half much more engaging, despite the Friday afternoon drop in energy. Learning a lot. In fact, learned how to solve some problems that have plagued me for years!
Yippee!

3:47pm
Laptop is scarcely portable anymore, due to its weak battery. Must walk to side of room and plug it into an outlet. I have it propped against the wall, waiting for juice.
Suck! Suck!

4:56pm
Rest of the class a blur of wonder and learning. Amazing. Off to sit in the afternoon traffic.

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